Tired, but can't fall asleep?

Sleepy versus tired.

We often say that we feel tired but actually in order to fall asleep we need to be 'sleepy'. But how can we tell the difference? As you probably have experienced you may feel exhausted but then you get into bed and sleep doesn't come. This may be because actually you have associated your bed with vigilance and anxiety around sleep so as a result, your become wakeful- at the wrong time.

Adrenalin and sleep

The biggest barrier to sleep is when you associate your bed with anxiety and so when you go to bed you suddenly feel alert or unable to drop off. This is because you have spent so much time in bed feeling negatively towards sleep that now your body thinks you are in danger.

Step 1

If this is the case then the first thing you need to do is to learn how to use your bodies natural sleep drive to help you drop off. Set your alarm earlier than usual and go to bed a bit later. Although this sounds crazy, actually this helps as you will build a much stronger ‘appetite’ for sleep.

Step 2

We have all laid in bed at night and felt like sleep is never going to come but what is the best thing to do? My mum always used to say, 'just lie there, at least you're resting'. Bless her, she was trying to be helpful but now as an Insomnia Specialist I realise how damaging to sleep this advice can be.

Poor sleep is a 'learnt' behaviour which means we basically train ourselves to sleep poorly. If we can't sleep one night, let's say because it's too hot or too noisy, we end up lying in bed for ages and become irritated and inevitably start to worry about the lack of sleep. If we continue to connect our bed with these types of negative feelings night after night then soon our bed becomes a cue for these types of feelings and simply by going to bed we start to feel wound up and worried.

If you are wide awake and in bed the best thing that you can do is leave the bedroom. Go downstairs and get a glass of water, watch TV for a while or read a book and when you feel sleepy go back to bed again. This way, you are reducing the amount of time you spend in bed awake and keeping the relationship between bed and sleep strong.

Step 3

Clear your mind

Some people find that even if they are sleepy they are still unable to fall asleep due to their minds working overtime. We suddenly think of all the things we have on our to- do list, worry about the future and start stewing on all our past regrets and mistakes! This 'racing mind' is very common and one of the best ways to begin to quieten your mind is to get into the habit of writing things down. Make time each day to sit and write down all your thoughts and worries and then after 20 minutes close the book and go and do something pleasurable. Often seeing things in black and white can give a different perspective and once it's on paper we are less likely to keep going over it in our heads.

CBT for insomnia

If you need more help then CBT for insomnia is the recommended treatment for insomnia and at The Insomnia Clinic we have already helped thousands of people to fall asleep easily and sleep through the night so that they can live their to the fullest.

Free Mini Sleep Course:
5 minutes for 5 days to improve your sleep.

Join my FREE mini sleep course and learn the tried and tested methods you need to know to improve your sleep.

Using evidence based and NHS recommended techniques, clearly guiding you through simple steps to improve your sleep, it includes everything you would receive in face-to-face sessions with many seeing improvements in just a few days.